Greetings and Happy Spring!
Today's blog was inspired by a conversation with a potential client. The potential client was grappling with how to support organizations that have already done some work around cultural competence and want to engage in multicultural transformation. I hope you enjoy reading and welcome your feedback!
How can leaders who want to build transformed, multicultural organizations conceptualize and approach this process? Many organizations have engaged in work to improve their services for diverse populations. Sometimes there are new programs in place, new staff hired and new policies. Often, individuals experience deep reflection and learning. This work sometimes, but not always, is transformative in nature. Today I discuss some key concepts and suggest steps for organizational leaders who want to transform their organizations.
What is a transformed multicultural organization? Transformation is distinct from incremental or discrete changes, which do not fundamentally impact an organization. Multicultural principles, such as commitment to equity and valuing socio-cultural similarities and differences, are embedded in all of domains of the organization. This includes the organization's mission, vision, programs and services, people, organizational culture and communication, policies and procedures, resources and infrastructure and engagement with community. A core element of a transformed multicultural organization is the capacity to engage, value and learn from diverse cultures and people. Multicultural transformation is not an end result, but an ongoing process.
Orientation toward Culture and Difference - An organization's mindset toward culture and difference is a determining factor in its approach to multiculturalism. If culture and difference are seen as problems to solve or specific issues to address, the process may be incremental or discrete. On the other hand, transformation occurs when culture and difference are valued as relevant throughout the organization's work.
Deficit to Opportunity - I often get called to work in organizations when they are stuck in conflict and don't know how to move forward. Sometimes, they are entrenched in a deficit-based approach focused on solving the "problem" of culture and difference. For example, problem-solving may focus on programs that lack the ability to serve different language or cultural groups. In such situations, staff often view cultural responsiveness as a burden; one more thing to add to their long to do list. When culture and difference are viewed as problems, people may be cast as victims and villains. There is often blame. shame, defensiveness or demoralization. One step in transforming the organization's approach is reframing the deficit orientation to one of opportunity.
A transformational approach does not ignore problems or challenges or side step the need for people to be heard. I have seen some of the greatest transformation come from acknowledging the tense and difficult situations and seeing the opportunities that can come from them. For example, an incident of staff insensitivity was reframed as an opportunity to clarify organizational expectations. A conflict was reframed as an opportunity to share and learn from different perspectives. A complaint from staff about inaction by management was reframed as an opportunity for managers to step beyond their comfort zone and develop new leadership skills. An underlying assumption in the transformed multicultural organization is valuing culture and difference and the real life experiences that happen in culturally diverse organizations.
Additive to Integrative - In an additive approach, an organization might hire culturally diverse staff and/or add on new services and programs to reach different populations, without integrating multiculturalism into other aspects of the organization. The mindset underlying this approach is that culture and difference only impact some communities and only comes into play in specific contexts. Often, in this approach, the people who work with "diversity" are marginalized in their organizations. They often perceive that other people in the organization, particularly those in management, don't understand their communities or the issues that they deal with.
In an integrative approach, multiculturalism is part of the lens through which all of the organization's work is viewed. The underlying assumption is that culture and difference impact all of the organization's work. Therefore, rather than relegating responsibility for being culturally responsive to a few "diverse" staff members, it is owned by the entire organization and embedded in multiple areas of work. In an integrative approach, multiculturalism is not limited to interactions between the organization and the population it serves, it is also germane to interactions internal to the organization. One crucial step in organizational transformation is establishing explicit values about multiculturalism and aligning key organizational players around those values.
Orientation toward People and Work - Another crucial aspect of transformation is in the view of and approach to people. Dominant organizational culture tends to treat people as "instruments" that perform tasks. Relationships are based upon performance of job function and people are viewed narrowly as task performers. The needs of individuals are often put aside in deference to the demands of the work. I have often heard from people in organizations I work with say that they feel undervalued and disempowered and don't have a voice. Non-managers often see managers as having all of the power. Those who are not in management roles are seen as subordinates with no real power.
In a transformed multicultural organization, people are seen and engaged as whole human beings and as agents of transformation. Each person has specific job responsibilities and is also valued for what they bring beyond their job description. Culturally diverse staff members, clients, community partners and volunteers are valued for the experiences and perspectives that they bring to the organization. For example, an administrative staff person may come from and live in a community being served by the organization. This person may have deep cultural knowledge and connections with key community institutions and leaders. There are opportunities for this staff member to share this knowledge and for organizational learning to take place.
As agents of transformation, staff members actively engage in sharing responsibility for creating open, collaborative patterns of communication. For example, many organizations I work with adopt guidelines for collaborative multicultural communication. These guidelines are utilized for staff meetings and people share responsibility for supporting each other to practicing them.
There is a culture of learning and a commitment to developing the leadership of both individuals and teams. The support of individuals is acknowledged as a crucial part of organizational sustainability. For example, one organization established support systems to enhance staff well-being in serving a highly distressed client population. This required that the organization transform its implicit view that "self-care" was low priority in contrast to serving clients. The transformed way of viewing people also extended to the organization's work with clients. Rather than viewing clients as helpless recipients of service, they were seen as whole human beings, capable of taking responsibility for their own lives. Another key element of multicultural transformation is defining the organization's orientation toward people and work and bringing its culture and practices into alignment with this orientation.
This article offers some ways to think about and approach multicultural organizational transformation. While it is not a blue-print for action, it suggests some steps that can be taken. These steps are not linear in nature and the different elements of transformation are interconnected. If you'd like to read more about MCOD, read Multicultural Organizational Development : A Resource for Health Equity or Multicultural Organizational Development in Nonprofit Organizations: Lessons from the Cultural Competence Learning Initiative.
For more information about my work, see my website or read past commentaries on my blog.
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address (www.mayenoconsulting.com) if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to e-mail me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Transformation and Multicultural Organizational Development: What's the Connection?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Engaging Diverse Stakeholders in Coalitions
Dear Laurin: How do you engage diverse stakeholders fully in a coalition? There are some groups based in communities of color in our coalition, but they don't have the staffing to participate consistently. Sometimes decision-making is held up because representatives aren't at the meetings when decisions need to be made. Any advice? Michelle
Dear Michelle: Thanks for bringing up an important concern. Though you raise the topic in the context of work with coalitions, it is also relevant to other organizations seeking to engage diverse participants. An underlying issue at play is the historical marginalization of communities of color and other groups from civic discourse and decision-making. Many communities have experienced both institutional neglect and intentional efforts to undermine community power. As a result, many communities lack developed infrastructures or resources to participate in coalitions or initiatives. They are often sought out by numerous coalitions and initiatives to "represent" their communities. We offer the following principles, questions and pitfalls to avoid.
1. Be clear about what you want to achieve by engaging diverse stakeholders. Some of the reasons for including diverse communities may be to:
- Gain support and increase the impact and reach of the coalition
- Learn from diverse perspectives on the issues the coalition is set up to address
- Strengthen the voices of diverse communities in the community or policy change
- Build mutually beneficial relationships that can be sustained over time
- Strengthen leadership within the coalition so that it is more reflective of/responsive to diverse communities
Questions to explore:
- How does engaging diverse stakeholders fit into your goals?
- What do you hope to achieve in the short-term and long-term?
- Trying to engage people without clarity about why you want to engage them
- A tokenistic approach where you focus on "getting people to the table" without commitment to authentic partnership and learning
Questions to explore:
- What types of relationships exists with and among the different stakeholders?
- What are different ways to strengthen those relationships and build trust?
- A narrow focus on "getting people to the table", rather than partnership building
- A paternalistic approach that doesn't recognize strengths
- Unwillingness to hear any feedback that isn't positive
- Overlooking the importance of relationship-building and focusing only on tasks
- Focusing prematurely on the formal structure of the relationships
The coalition agenda may or may not be a priority for the organizations you seek to engage. In other words, they may or may not have a stake in what the coalition is doing. Smaller organizations may be supportive of the coalition, but have other priorities, such as building their basic infrastructure and constituency. Recognize where the interests coalesce and where there is a common agenda. Recognize also the different agendas that drive participation/non-participation in the coalition.
Questions to explore:
- What are the priorities of the different stakeholders you wish to engage?
- What are the common interests?
- Can involvement in the coalition add value for their work or help them achieve their goals?
- Do the agendas of the dominant groups within the coalition get in the way?
- Assuming that the coalition issue should be a priority for everyone or that people who don't engage are apathetic.
- Allowing agendas of one or a few groups to dominate the coalition.
Questions to explore:
- What are the best strategies and structures to reach your goals for engaging different stakeholders?
- Are there other strategies, beyond coalition-building that might meet your needs?
- Structuring the coalition in a way the makes it difficult for groups with fewer resources to participate
- Restricting engagement strategies to coalition building
Questions to explore:
- Are there barriers to participation built in to the way the coalition is structured or how it conducts business?
- What type of coalition culture would be most welcoming and inclusive to diverse groups?
- Making assumptions about how to be inclusive without talking to the people you want to engage
- Attachment to the "right" way to do things, leaving no room for exploration
Smaller, less resourced groups are not without power. For example, organizations based in particular communities may have the power to legitimize the coalition or leverage relationships to a particular base of people. They may also hold the power to hold up the process, by being absent when key decisions are made.
Building trust, and being explicit about how decisions will be made and how resources will be used can be one way to address these dynamics. There may also be an option of allocating some resources to "level the playing field" such as supporting smaller organizations to build their infrastructures or providing them with funding and technical assistance to support their participation. Local and national coalitions and initiatives have used this strategy successfully, particularly when there are grant funds available to support coalition work.
Questions to explore:
- How do differences in power and resources impact the coalition and the partnerships between groups?
- What are workable ways to navigate those differences and share power?
- How can different groups in the coalition share their resources and strengths in a way that will benefit everyone?
- Are there ways to invest resources to build infrastructure and support the participation of groups that have fewer resources?
- Ignoring differences in power and resources and operating as if they don't exist.
- Undervaluing the strengths of groups that have fewer resources
- Bringing people to the table without sharing power
- Allowing any group or clique to dominate the coalition
Laurin Mayeno, Mayeno Consulting
Galen Ellis, El-Askari Consulting
More Resources - Here are a few resources on coalition building that you might find helpful:
Developing Coalitions: An Eight-Step Guide, Prevention Institute
The Community Toolbox
Wisconsin Clearinghouse for Prevention Resources
For more information about my work, see my website or read past commentaries on my blog.
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address (www.mayenoconsulting.com) if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to e-mail me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Celebrating Community, Leadership and Learning: Reflections on 2010
Seasons Greetings!
As 2010 draws to a close, I'm reflecting on what there is to celebrate and what I've learned. I'm celebrating being part of a community full of committed, talented and passionate people. I'm also celebrating the diversity of experiences I have had in work and life and the many rich lessons I've learned along the way. Here are a few "Lessons from the Field" that I found particularly valuable in 2010.
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
As 2010 draws to a close, I'm reflecting on what there is to celebrate and what I've learned. I'm celebrating being part of a community full of committed, talented and passionate people. I'm also celebrating the diversity of experiences I have had in work and life and the many rich lessons I've learned along the way. Here are a few "Lessons from the Field" that I found particularly valuable in 2010.
"An ounce of practice is worth more than ten tons of preaching." Mahatma Gandhi
1. Practice behaviors you are looking for in others. A team I worked with wanted to improve services for their culturally diverse community. Their strategy was to conduct a series of interactive workshops with staff. The desired outcome of the workshops was that staffwould communicate with clients and each other about issues of difference. There wasn't much interaction in the first few workshops, so the team was concerned that they weren't having the desired impact.
The team members reflected on what was happening and realized that they were not "being the change" they hoped to make in the organization. They recognized that they could play a pivotal role by practicing the behaviors they expected of others. In the next workshop, they began sharing their own experiences and perspectives about race, class, gender, sexual orientation and other differences. They then began to notice a difference in the group dynamics. Once people saw the value in this type of dialogue, others began to engage. Soon, they were having substantive dialogue and using communication tools they had learned. They respectfully shared and listened to very different views about controversial issues. It was sometimes uncomfortable and things didn't always go smoothly, which leads to the second lesson...
The team members reflected on what was happening and realized that they were not "being the change" they hoped to make in the organization. They recognized that they could play a pivotal role by practicing the behaviors they expected of others. In the next workshop, they began sharing their own experiences and perspectives about race, class, gender, sexual orientation and other differences. They then began to notice a difference in the group dynamics. Once people saw the value in this type of dialogue, others began to engage. Soon, they were having substantive dialogue and using communication tools they had learned. They respectfully shared and listened to very different views about controversial issues. It was sometimes uncomfortable and things didn't always go smoothly, which leads to the second lesson...
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." A.A. Milne
2. Change can be messy. When I first started practicing flip turns in the swimming pool, I was clumsy and I often ended up with water up my nose. It took me a long time to get them right and I had to be willing to look bad in order to get better at it. This experience was also a great reminder that learning new things takes a willingness to let things get messy. I remind myself of this lesson in my work with organizations. I am constantly trying on new approaches in the workshops I do. They don't always go over the way I want them to. But, my willingness to experiment has allowed me to develop new and powerful curriculum that I would not otherwise have. If we expect things to go smoothly all the time, we may be disappointed. But, if we allow for twists and turns along the way, we can be patient with ourselves and continue moving forward. We can also experience discomfort as a valuable part of the process, which is my next lesson...
"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." Audre Lorde
3. There is tension in creativity. I often remind myself that tension is a natural and very useful part of a creative process. In one organization, staff members recognized that their tendency to avoid conflict got in the way of full self-expression and dialogue. People in leadership made a concerned effort to begin expressing their concerns more openly, using communication tools and guidelines they were learning. This new behavior required a willingness to take risks was sometimes uncomfortable and upsetting. Their willingness to experience tension had many beneficial results. The organization has since made exciting advances in their programs, services and staffing and is a much more dynamic place to work.
In closing, I hope you find some value in the lessons I've shared. I wish you a peaceful and happy winter season and much joy and creative discovery in the new year!Laurin Mayeno
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Creating Safety for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer People
The recent wave of suicides of young gay teenagers has impacted me deeply and prompted the subject matter for this month's post. This post is dedicated to the people who have lost their lives or been injured as a result of anti-LGBTQ harassment or violence and the people who love them. I have enlisted the support of my niece Belia Mayeno Saavedra, a long-time youth educator, to help me think and write about these issues. Thank you Belia!
Our goal is to foster dialogue and action among non-profit, public and philanthropic organizations. As we write, we hold a vision of a world where people of all sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions are safe and valued for who they are. In my work with non-profit organizations I have heard from staff members who don't feel safe being open about their LGBTQ identity in their work places. In a multicultural workshop for a public organization, a participant gasped in dismay when I disclosed that my son was gay. Staff from a child development program told me that a parent complained viciously after their daughter read a book about a child with same-sex parents. These are a few of many signals that there is much work to be done and there are many opportunities for non-profit, public and philanthropic organizations to make a difference.
Safety for LGBTQ people is relevant to all organizations that have people in them, provide direct services or are in any way part of the public discourse. While child and youth serving organizations may be most directly impacted, this topic is profoundly relevant to others. The recent suicides are not just about LGBTQ young people or the people that bully and reject them. This issue is about all of us as part of families and communities. It is about all of us as part of a society that perpetuates rigid rules about gender and sexual orientation and uses harassment and violence against those who don't comply. Here are some things that we can do:
1. Recognize the issue and its impact. The deaths of our young people are stark reminders that harassment and violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people is a serious issue with deadly consequences. LGBTQ people face bullying, harassment, violence and rejection all the time and youth suicide among LGBTQ is not a new phenomenon. This cruelty is aimed at anyone who is perceived to be LGBTQ or who doesn't dress and act according to social rules for boys or girls, men or women. Bullying creates an unsafe environment for all children.
2. Acknowledge and build community strength and power. There is another side to this story that often goes untold. It is the story of the resilience and power of LGBTQ people of all ages. It is the friends, parents, brothers, sisters and grandparents who stand by their LGBTQ family members. It is the many people and organizations working to build safer schools, inclusive congregations, end violence, strengthen family support, change discriminatory policies and transform community attitudes. It is the hundreds of thousands of people who wore purple on October 20th and many who have marched, rallied and campaigned, been imprisoned and faced brutality and death to win basic rights for LGBTQ people. It is also the perpetrators of violence who have accounted for their violent actions and learned how to be empowered without dominating others. Recognize the resilience and power among LGBTQ youth and support them in building that power. Explore ways to build on and tap into the strengths in your community. Discover and share resources, a sampling of which are listed below.
3. Break the silence. Discuss how your organization can contribute to creating safe and inclusive spaces for LGBTQ people. There are many different ways to start conversations about the issues. There are articles, films and other resources you can use as a jumping off point for the discussion. If you work with youth, ask about their experiences and learn how this issue impacts them. Learn from their experiences ways that you can strengthen your programs. Foster dialogue among youth to build bridges of understanding. If you don't work with youth, consider other ways that this issue might relate to your organization and its work. For example, have you created an environment that is inclusive and safe for LGBTQ people who may work there? Do you have a way to address incidents of mistreatment in the workplace?
4. Look at messages you are sending (or not sending). LGBTQ people face an onslaught of messages from our society and culture that something is gravely wrong with them. It makes a difference to get accepting and inclusive messages from adults, family members and peers.
If you serve young children, be aware that young people get messages about gender and orientation from a very young age. They learn the rules very early on regarding what it means to "act like a boy" or "act like a girl". They may get teased and they may get pressured in subtle and not-so-subtle ways to conform to societal norms. Whether we are perpetuating an overt act of violence, telling a boy "don't be a sissy" or discouraging a girl from being too strong we are participating in the enforcement of gender roles that are not naturally determined, but socially defined. This pressure often comes from well-meaning parents who want their children to conform in order to fit in and be accepted. Well intentioned or not, this gender policing creates the social environment where people hurt others.
Regardless of what age group you work with, be aware of the messages you are sending in your communications, actions, and interactions. Are you silent on the issue? For example, do images in your brochures include people who are LGBTQ? If you do education, does your curriculum address issues of gender and sexual orientation? If you use language based on heterosexual norms, you may be unintentionally sending negative messages. For example, automatically referring to a woman's partner as a "husband" or "boyfriend" sends a message that heterosexuality is the expected norm, while same-sex relationships are not.
5. Create structures for support. Move beyond acceptance to valuing and celebrating LGBTQ young people for who they are as individuals and for their courage and resilience in breaking out of gender norms. In programming, encourage people to access parts of themselves that they are taught to shut down. Structures of support can take a number of forms, including formal support groups, training curriculum, organizational policies and communication practices. Gender neutral bathrooms are also an important way to make your environment a safer space for LGBTQ people.
6. Connect the dots. The dialogue around anti-LGBTQ bullying can open up space for discussions about how we can transform our culture and make it safer for everyone. In her work, Belia has witnessed young people transform their attitudes and behaviors as they make connections between different forms of violence and systems of domination. Explore the roots of anti-LGBTQ violence. Learn more about gender, how it is socially constructed and perpetuated and how to transform it. Ask questions and keep the dialogue going.
7. Take action now and commit to the long haul. There are many ways we can make a difference right now in work with organizations, institutions, youth, families and communities. The Making it Better Project has tips for both youth and adults.
It will also take a long-term commitment to transform deeply embedded cultural patterns, social norms and systems, starting with our selves. We can make a difference by doing the ongoing work to end violence and domination at all levels of our society. We can save lives and create a world with safety, justice and freedom for everyone.
Thank you for reading!
Laurin Mayeno, Mayeno Consulting
Click here to join my email list.
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Resources:
Thanks to friends and colleagues who have recommended resources to include in this newsletter. Here is a sampling of resources and information that is by no means comprehensive:
API Family Pride
The Brown Boi Project
COLAGE Youth Leadership and Action Program
Community United Against Violence
Groundspark
GSA Network
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
Lyric
Our Family Coalition
Outlet
PFLAG
California Safe Schools Coalition
Somos Familia
Trans Youth Equality Foundation
Trans Youth Family Allies
Yes Institute
Family Acceptance Project
Make It Better Project
Welcoming Schools
Five Ways To Stop Bullying
Today's Love: He's My Little Brother
Groundspark Responds to Tragic News of Teen Suicides
Out & Equal Workspace Resources
Straight For Equality... in the Workplace
Get the Scoop on Creating a Gay-Friendly Workspace
Straight For Equality... In Healthcare
La Mission The Movie
Our goal is to foster dialogue and action among non-profit, public and philanthropic organizations. As we write, we hold a vision of a world where people of all sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions are safe and valued for who they are. In my work with non-profit organizations I have heard from staff members who don't feel safe being open about their LGBTQ identity in their work places. In a multicultural workshop for a public organization, a participant gasped in dismay when I disclosed that my son was gay. Staff from a child development program told me that a parent complained viciously after their daughter read a book about a child with same-sex parents. These are a few of many signals that there is much work to be done and there are many opportunities for non-profit, public and philanthropic organizations to make a difference.
Safety for LGBTQ people is relevant to all organizations that have people in them, provide direct services or are in any way part of the public discourse. While child and youth serving organizations may be most directly impacted, this topic is profoundly relevant to others. The recent suicides are not just about LGBTQ young people or the people that bully and reject them. This issue is about all of us as part of families and communities. It is about all of us as part of a society that perpetuates rigid rules about gender and sexual orientation and uses harassment and violence against those who don't comply. Here are some things that we can do:
1. Recognize the issue and its impact. The deaths of our young people are stark reminders that harassment and violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) people is a serious issue with deadly consequences. LGBTQ people face bullying, harassment, violence and rejection all the time and youth suicide among LGBTQ is not a new phenomenon. This cruelty is aimed at anyone who is perceived to be LGBTQ or who doesn't dress and act according to social rules for boys or girls, men or women. Bullying creates an unsafe environment for all children.
2. Acknowledge and build community strength and power. There is another side to this story that often goes untold. It is the story of the resilience and power of LGBTQ people of all ages. It is the friends, parents, brothers, sisters and grandparents who stand by their LGBTQ family members. It is the many people and organizations working to build safer schools, inclusive congregations, end violence, strengthen family support, change discriminatory policies and transform community attitudes. It is the hundreds of thousands of people who wore purple on October 20th and many who have marched, rallied and campaigned, been imprisoned and faced brutality and death to win basic rights for LGBTQ people. It is also the perpetrators of violence who have accounted for their violent actions and learned how to be empowered without dominating others. Recognize the resilience and power among LGBTQ youth and support them in building that power. Explore ways to build on and tap into the strengths in your community. Discover and share resources, a sampling of which are listed below.
3. Break the silence. Discuss how your organization can contribute to creating safe and inclusive spaces for LGBTQ people. There are many different ways to start conversations about the issues. There are articles, films and other resources you can use as a jumping off point for the discussion. If you work with youth, ask about their experiences and learn how this issue impacts them. Learn from their experiences ways that you can strengthen your programs. Foster dialogue among youth to build bridges of understanding. If you don't work with youth, consider other ways that this issue might relate to your organization and its work. For example, have you created an environment that is inclusive and safe for LGBTQ people who may work there? Do you have a way to address incidents of mistreatment in the workplace?
4. Look at messages you are sending (or not sending). LGBTQ people face an onslaught of messages from our society and culture that something is gravely wrong with them. It makes a difference to get accepting and inclusive messages from adults, family members and peers.
If you serve young children, be aware that young people get messages about gender and orientation from a very young age. They learn the rules very early on regarding what it means to "act like a boy" or "act like a girl". They may get teased and they may get pressured in subtle and not-so-subtle ways to conform to societal norms. Whether we are perpetuating an overt act of violence, telling a boy "don't be a sissy" or discouraging a girl from being too strong we are participating in the enforcement of gender roles that are not naturally determined, but socially defined. This pressure often comes from well-meaning parents who want their children to conform in order to fit in and be accepted. Well intentioned or not, this gender policing creates the social environment where people hurt others.
Regardless of what age group you work with, be aware of the messages you are sending in your communications, actions, and interactions. Are you silent on the issue? For example, do images in your brochures include people who are LGBTQ? If you do education, does your curriculum address issues of gender and sexual orientation? If you use language based on heterosexual norms, you may be unintentionally sending negative messages. For example, automatically referring to a woman's partner as a "husband" or "boyfriend" sends a message that heterosexuality is the expected norm, while same-sex relationships are not.
5. Create structures for support. Move beyond acceptance to valuing and celebrating LGBTQ young people for who they are as individuals and for their courage and resilience in breaking out of gender norms. In programming, encourage people to access parts of themselves that they are taught to shut down. Structures of support can take a number of forms, including formal support groups, training curriculum, organizational policies and communication practices. Gender neutral bathrooms are also an important way to make your environment a safer space for LGBTQ people.
6. Connect the dots. The dialogue around anti-LGBTQ bullying can open up space for discussions about how we can transform our culture and make it safer for everyone. In her work, Belia has witnessed young people transform their attitudes and behaviors as they make connections between different forms of violence and systems of domination. Explore the roots of anti-LGBTQ violence. Learn more about gender, how it is socially constructed and perpetuated and how to transform it. Ask questions and keep the dialogue going.
7. Take action now and commit to the long haul. There are many ways we can make a difference right now in work with organizations, institutions, youth, families and communities. The Making it Better Project has tips for both youth and adults.
It will also take a long-term commitment to transform deeply embedded cultural patterns, social norms and systems, starting with our selves. We can make a difference by doing the ongoing work to end violence and domination at all levels of our society. We can save lives and create a world with safety, justice and freedom for everyone.
Thank you for reading!
Laurin Mayeno, Mayeno Consulting
Click here to join my email list.
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Resources:
Thanks to friends and colleagues who have recommended resources to include in this newsletter. Here is a sampling of resources and information that is by no means comprehensive:
API Family Pride
The Brown Boi Project
COLAGE Youth Leadership and Action Program
Community United Against Violence
Groundspark
GSA Network
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
Lyric
Our Family Coalition
Outlet
PFLAG
California Safe Schools Coalition
Somos Familia
Trans Youth Equality Foundation
Trans Youth Family Allies
Yes Institute
Family Acceptance Project
Make It Better Project
Welcoming Schools
Five Ways To Stop Bullying
Today's Love: He's My Little Brother
Groundspark Responds to Tragic News of Teen Suicides
Out & Equal Workspace Resources
Straight For Equality... in the Workplace
Get the Scoop on Creating a Gay-Friendly Workspace
Straight For Equality... In Healthcare
La Mission The Movie
Monday, September 20, 2010
Responding to Tensions in the Community
Dear Laurin,
Our organization serves people from different ages and backgrounds in the same facility. Cutbacks in services have resulted in increased tension in the community we serve. Recently we have had some conflict over the use of space for program activities. In one incident, an older White male community member told a group of male youth of color to leave a recreational space so he could use it. When they did not leave immediately, he called one of the youth a _______ (overtly racist term). We have already taken measures to make sure that this individual does not repeat the offense. We had conversations with all of the youth involved and their parents. What else can we do to respond to this incident as an opportunity for shared learning and strengthen our commitment to multiculturalism? We want to address the issue in our community while protecting the confidentiality of the individuals who were involved.
"Jackie"
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for sharing this challenge. My colleague, Robin Tucker, has assisted me in writing this response. Tensions related to culture, power and difference often bubble under the surface in organizations, even if they aren't acknowledged. When they come out into the open, there is an opportunity to respond, rather than react. For example, you may choose to renew your commitment to creating an environment where everyone is welcome, respected and safe. You may also make a commitment to strengthening connections and understanding between different groups within the community you serve. Here are some ideas we would like to offer:
Send a clear message. It is important for the agency to send a clear message to the community that it is taking this incident seriously and is committed to providing a safe environment for all people who are part of the community served. A foremost concern is the safety of the young people who were targeted in this incident. The safety of all people, particularly those who are most likely to be harassed or mistreated, should also be considered.
Engage the people who were directly involved. Talk to the youth and their families as well as the staff involved and explore how to work together to create a safe environment for young people of color. It is important not to treat the youth as victims, but to engage them as valued partners. Make clear commitments regarding what you will do as an agency.
Create an opportunity for forgiveness and dialogue. It is important to remember that we have all been influenced by the "isms" in society. None of us are completely "above" being racist, sexist, classist, heterosexist, ageist, etc. While racist behavior should not be tolerated, it is important to create an environment where people are not vilified for showing their "isms". South Africa has given us an example of reconciliation in an intensely racist environment. Consider that reconciliation is possible and can be very powerful. Listen to all perspectives without labeling the person who made the racist statement the "bad guy". Is there willingness on his part to grow and learn? If he is willing to take responsibility for his actions and understand the impact on the youth, the hurtful experience could potentially be turned into a positive one.
Build staff capacity to respond proactively. Find out from the staff members who were involved what support they need. Were they personally impacted or triggered? Did they have knowledge and skills to deal with the incident? Are there clear policies to guide the agency response? Is there training that might build staff capacity and confidence in responding to such incidents? What is staff role in fostering multicultural understanding so that people in the community treat each other with respect?
Clarify organizational policies and values. Does the agency have explicit values and policies around multiculturalism and respectful conduct towards all people? If not, here's an opportunity to create them. If you have values and policies, revisit them and renew your commitment at all levels of the agency. If the Board of Directors, managers and staff engage in theses discussions, you will learn from multiple perspectives and encourage shared responsibility for implementation. Make sure that everyone is aware of the agency commitments and able to implement them. Discuss how you can be more proactive in bringing your values to the work and the community you serve.
Engage the community in dialogue. Consider conducting a dialogue to engage staff and community in learning and sharing responsibility for building a safe, respectful environment for all people. You may wish to mention that a few things have happened that are of concern (incidents where race, gender, age have been a factor) without focusing on a specific incident. Talk about how to be a successful multicultural community. Do some deep thinking together about systemic issues that impact the community. Discuss how people in the community want to relate to each other. Here are some examples of questions to discuss:
• How do we create an environment where we value what everyone brings?
• How do we create an environment were we acknowledge and overcome fear of the others because they are different?
Get the support you need. Finally, the leaders in your organization have been given a tremendous opportunity for learning and growth. Practice self-awareness. Be aware of your own reactions, thoughts, feelings and needs. Recognize and seek the support you need in navigating this journey.
All our best to you!
Laurin Mayeno, Mayeno Consulting
Robin Tucker, The Proper Angle
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog post. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Our organization serves people from different ages and backgrounds in the same facility. Cutbacks in services have resulted in increased tension in the community we serve. Recently we have had some conflict over the use of space for program activities. In one incident, an older White male community member told a group of male youth of color to leave a recreational space so he could use it. When they did not leave immediately, he called one of the youth a _______ (overtly racist term). We have already taken measures to make sure that this individual does not repeat the offense. We had conversations with all of the youth involved and their parents. What else can we do to respond to this incident as an opportunity for shared learning and strengthen our commitment to multiculturalism? We want to address the issue in our community while protecting the confidentiality of the individuals who were involved.
"Jackie"
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for sharing this challenge. My colleague, Robin Tucker, has assisted me in writing this response. Tensions related to culture, power and difference often bubble under the surface in organizations, even if they aren't acknowledged. When they come out into the open, there is an opportunity to respond, rather than react. For example, you may choose to renew your commitment to creating an environment where everyone is welcome, respected and safe. You may also make a commitment to strengthening connections and understanding between different groups within the community you serve. Here are some ideas we would like to offer:
Send a clear message. It is important for the agency to send a clear message to the community that it is taking this incident seriously and is committed to providing a safe environment for all people who are part of the community served. A foremost concern is the safety of the young people who were targeted in this incident. The safety of all people, particularly those who are most likely to be harassed or mistreated, should also be considered.
Engage the people who were directly involved. Talk to the youth and their families as well as the staff involved and explore how to work together to create a safe environment for young people of color. It is important not to treat the youth as victims, but to engage them as valued partners. Make clear commitments regarding what you will do as an agency.
Create an opportunity for forgiveness and dialogue. It is important to remember that we have all been influenced by the "isms" in society. None of us are completely "above" being racist, sexist, classist, heterosexist, ageist, etc. While racist behavior should not be tolerated, it is important to create an environment where people are not vilified for showing their "isms". South Africa has given us an example of reconciliation in an intensely racist environment. Consider that reconciliation is possible and can be very powerful. Listen to all perspectives without labeling the person who made the racist statement the "bad guy". Is there willingness on his part to grow and learn? If he is willing to take responsibility for his actions and understand the impact on the youth, the hurtful experience could potentially be turned into a positive one.
Build staff capacity to respond proactively. Find out from the staff members who were involved what support they need. Were they personally impacted or triggered? Did they have knowledge and skills to deal with the incident? Are there clear policies to guide the agency response? Is there training that might build staff capacity and confidence in responding to such incidents? What is staff role in fostering multicultural understanding so that people in the community treat each other with respect?
Clarify organizational policies and values. Does the agency have explicit values and policies around multiculturalism and respectful conduct towards all people? If not, here's an opportunity to create them. If you have values and policies, revisit them and renew your commitment at all levels of the agency. If the Board of Directors, managers and staff engage in theses discussions, you will learn from multiple perspectives and encourage shared responsibility for implementation. Make sure that everyone is aware of the agency commitments and able to implement them. Discuss how you can be more proactive in bringing your values to the work and the community you serve.
Engage the community in dialogue. Consider conducting a dialogue to engage staff and community in learning and sharing responsibility for building a safe, respectful environment for all people. You may wish to mention that a few things have happened that are of concern (incidents where race, gender, age have been a factor) without focusing on a specific incident. Talk about how to be a successful multicultural community. Do some deep thinking together about systemic issues that impact the community. Discuss how people in the community want to relate to each other. Here are some examples of questions to discuss:
• How do we create an environment where we value what everyone brings?
• How do we create an environment were we acknowledge and overcome fear of the others because they are different?
Get the support you need. Finally, the leaders in your organization have been given a tremendous opportunity for learning and growth. Practice self-awareness. Be aware of your own reactions, thoughts, feelings and needs. Recognize and seek the support you need in navigating this journey.
All our best to you!
Laurin Mayeno, Mayeno Consulting
Robin Tucker, The Proper Angle
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog post. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that send me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Overcoming Silos to Build a Multicultural Organization
Dear Laurin,
During the past decade my organization received funding that enabled us to hire staff for targeted outreach and direct service to Latina and African American communities. While this has greatly expanded our service delivery in these communities, it has also created silos among these programs and inhibited the sharing of learning, support and best practices across all programs. We are an organization with a small staff and a large base of volunteers. How can we work to overcome these silos and build a multicultural organization where all paid and unpaid service providers share learnings and support each other?
"Pamela"
Dear Pamela,
Thanks for bringing up an issue that impacts many organizations. Your situation highlights that the presence of diverse staff in an organization does not automatically lead to strong multicultural working relationships. There are great opportunities for learning, growth and stronger performance when people come together across program area and job function.
Silos often develop within organizations regardless of whether there are ethnic-specific programs. Silos happen when the program or department develops an identity of its own without a strong shared identification with the organization and its mission. Silos may be seen as a reflection of a tendency to develop organizations as sets of separate functions, rather than communities of people working together. In this era of shrinking resources tensions may build as people within these silos worry about the sustainability of their jobs and the work that they do.
As you mentioned, there is great value in having programs and staff who focus in specific communities. It allows you to tailor your outreach and provide linguistically and cultural responsive services. The challenge you mention often occurs when the people in these programs do not fully support one another. For example, one organization had a sole staff person whose job was to provide support services for the Latino community. She found herself isolated and overwhelmed in her efforts to support people who were dealing with a life threatening illness, often with limited economic resources and access to care. In the organization, each person's job was seen as a separate function, so there was nobody else in the organization responsible for supporting her. In situations like this, social divisions and inequities based on race, class, gender, language or other differences may be further exacerbated.
The good news is that organizations such as yours have tremendous potential to build community and multicultural connections based on a shared mission. Below, I will outline a few principles and examples of how this can occur.
1. Create an identity that fosters shared ownership. One key to building a cohesive organization is shifting the way people think about the organization, it's work and the people involved. In one organization the people recognized that their role was not just to provide services within their individual program areas; it also entailed building a supportive healing community. They began to ask for and provide support for each other across program areas. The staff also shifted the way they thought about volunteers. Rather than thinking of volunteers as people who helped the staff do their work, they began viewing them as people who were invested in the organization and were an integral part of the work. This shift in thinking occurred in their language and ways of talking about and conceptualizing their work and themselves. It also developed through activities where people engaged with the organization came together across program area and function to interact and learn from each other.
2. Build authentic relationships among people as an integral part of the work. In one organization, the staff recognized that their work required relationship building amongst themselves as well as with the people they served. They set a goal of strengthening communication in the organization and began building the capacity and openness to communicate amongst themselves. They practiced using guidelines for multicultural communication, taking risks and "getting real" with each other. This was possible because of a shift in thinking (Principle 1, above); they recognized that their relationship building was a crucial part of their work. The relationship built among staff built a foundation to model authentic communication with volunteers, board members and community partners.
3. Establish ongoing forums for shared learning, growth and community building. One organization conducted a series of dialogues involving staff, board and volunteers. Through these dialogues they built connections among people who had been functioning in separate silos. Interpretation was provided to enable people to communicate across different languages. People who were part of the organization and its community had the opportunity to share experiences from their work, explore commonalities and differences, and learn from each other. These forums provide an opportunity for building a sense of shared community among the people who are actively engaged with the organization as well as the broader communities they serve. They recognized the importance of BOTH maintaining distinct program areas and support for different populations AND building bridges across difference to create a multicultural community.
In these tough economic times, many organizations are rethinking how they do their work. I have had the privilege of working with several organizations that are maintaining a steadfast commitment to multicultural principles in the face of uncertainty and loss. While challenging, these times may also present opportunities to develop new ways of working that unify organizations and the people they interact with. Most non-profit and public organizations are concerned with issues of health, well-being and quality of life. When organizations build authentic communication and connection they can bring this to the communities they serve. By conceptualizing community building, learning and relationship building as integral to the organization's work we can build healthier, more sustainable organizations and communities.
All my best to you and the amazing people you work with!
Laurin
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog post. f you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that sends me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
During the past decade my organization received funding that enabled us to hire staff for targeted outreach and direct service to Latina and African American communities. While this has greatly expanded our service delivery in these communities, it has also created silos among these programs and inhibited the sharing of learning, support and best practices across all programs. We are an organization with a small staff and a large base of volunteers. How can we work to overcome these silos and build a multicultural organization where all paid and unpaid service providers share learnings and support each other?
"Pamela"
Dear Pamela,
Thanks for bringing up an issue that impacts many organizations. Your situation highlights that the presence of diverse staff in an organization does not automatically lead to strong multicultural working relationships. There are great opportunities for learning, growth and stronger performance when people come together across program area and job function.
Silos often develop within organizations regardless of whether there are ethnic-specific programs. Silos happen when the program or department develops an identity of its own without a strong shared identification with the organization and its mission. Silos may be seen as a reflection of a tendency to develop organizations as sets of separate functions, rather than communities of people working together. In this era of shrinking resources tensions may build as people within these silos worry about the sustainability of their jobs and the work that they do.
As you mentioned, there is great value in having programs and staff who focus in specific communities. It allows you to tailor your outreach and provide linguistically and cultural responsive services. The challenge you mention often occurs when the people in these programs do not fully support one another. For example, one organization had a sole staff person whose job was to provide support services for the Latino community. She found herself isolated and overwhelmed in her efforts to support people who were dealing with a life threatening illness, often with limited economic resources and access to care. In the organization, each person's job was seen as a separate function, so there was nobody else in the organization responsible for supporting her. In situations like this, social divisions and inequities based on race, class, gender, language or other differences may be further exacerbated.
The good news is that organizations such as yours have tremendous potential to build community and multicultural connections based on a shared mission. Below, I will outline a few principles and examples of how this can occur.
1. Create an identity that fosters shared ownership. One key to building a cohesive organization is shifting the way people think about the organization, it's work and the people involved. In one organization the people recognized that their role was not just to provide services within their individual program areas; it also entailed building a supportive healing community. They began to ask for and provide support for each other across program areas. The staff also shifted the way they thought about volunteers. Rather than thinking of volunteers as people who helped the staff do their work, they began viewing them as people who were invested in the organization and were an integral part of the work. This shift in thinking occurred in their language and ways of talking about and conceptualizing their work and themselves. It also developed through activities where people engaged with the organization came together across program area and function to interact and learn from each other.
2. Build authentic relationships among people as an integral part of the work. In one organization, the staff recognized that their work required relationship building amongst themselves as well as with the people they served. They set a goal of strengthening communication in the organization and began building the capacity and openness to communicate amongst themselves. They practiced using guidelines for multicultural communication, taking risks and "getting real" with each other. This was possible because of a shift in thinking (Principle 1, above); they recognized that their relationship building was a crucial part of their work. The relationship built among staff built a foundation to model authentic communication with volunteers, board members and community partners.
3. Establish ongoing forums for shared learning, growth and community building. One organization conducted a series of dialogues involving staff, board and volunteers. Through these dialogues they built connections among people who had been functioning in separate silos. Interpretation was provided to enable people to communicate across different languages. People who were part of the organization and its community had the opportunity to share experiences from their work, explore commonalities and differences, and learn from each other. These forums provide an opportunity for building a sense of shared community among the people who are actively engaged with the organization as well as the broader communities they serve. They recognized the importance of BOTH maintaining distinct program areas and support for different populations AND building bridges across difference to create a multicultural community.
In these tough economic times, many organizations are rethinking how they do their work. I have had the privilege of working with several organizations that are maintaining a steadfast commitment to multicultural principles in the face of uncertainty and loss. While challenging, these times may also present opportunities to develop new ways of working that unify organizations and the people they interact with. Most non-profit and public organizations are concerned with issues of health, well-being and quality of life. When organizations build authentic communication and connection they can bring this to the communities they serve. By conceptualizing community building, learning and relationship building as integral to the organization's work we can build healthier, more sustainable organizations and communities.
All my best to you and the amazing people you work with!
Laurin
Note to readers: I hope you enjoyed reading my blog post. f you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address if you pass it on to others. Thanks!
I invite you to Email me at laurin@mayenoconsulting.com with topics that come up in your work. As a special incentive, I will provide 3 hours of free consultation to organizations that sends me "Dear Laurin" letters that I use for future commentaries.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Transforming Communication: When Breakdowns become Breakthroughs
Dear Friends,
I didn't start out my consultant business with a focus on communication. This focus grew as a result of a steady stream of communication breakdowns over the years: conflicts with people being targeted and blamed, people complaining that they weren't being heard, concerns about lack of transparency, people avoiding difficult conversations, tensions resulting from different communication styles...and so on. I saw that these breakdowns could have a devastating impact on the people, their morale and their work. I also saw that when communication works, it can transform an individual, a team and an entire organization!
Over the past several years, communication has become a cornerstone of my work. In this month's "Lessons from the Field", I share my top 5 lessons on communication breakdowns and breakthroughs. I am deeply grateful to, and inspired by, the many people I have worked with and learned from. Special thanks go to my colleagues Loretta Hobbs of O-Neal Hobbs Associates and Françoise Spaulding-Keller for their valuable input. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address (www.mayenoconsulting.com) if you pass it on to others.
LESSON 1: Communication breakdowns happen. A breakdown is when something doesn't work. If we start by accepting and expecting that breakdowns will happen, we will be less likely to react with dismay. Breakdowns may happen for a number of reasons. For example, when an organization expands, communication processes that once worked may not work anymore. If people have very different ways of looking at the world or different styles of communication, misunderstandings are bound to occur. The rapid changes in technology add different methods of communicating to the mix. In short, don't be surprised if something isn't working in communication.
LESSON 2: Problem-solving doesn't transform communication. When I started out with a problem-solving approach, I noticed that people (myself included) were defensive and seemed to suffer through the process. Focusing attention on fixing a problem did not inspire people. People often felt bad about themselves and each other. Shifting away from problem-solving doesn't mean ignoring challenges. We can acknowledge the challenges AND frame them as opportunities. For example, conflicts about tone of voice, office noise levels or how people respond to requests may impede productivity and teambuilding and decrease job satisfaction. They may also provide rich opportunities to learn about different communication styles, enhance working relationships and develop strategies that meet everyone's needs.
LESSON 3: Where there's a breakdown, a breakthrough is possible. When communication gets challenging, people are often driven by anger and fear; their outlook about the future tends towards gloom and doom. An alternative way of looking at breakdowns is to see them as "pre-breakthrough moments" or moments of creative tension. For an organization with confusion about expectations, there may be an opportunity to break through the confusion to clarify roles and model transparency. For the organization an employee makes an offensive remark, the organization may be ready to break through a pattern of tolerating intolerance and become a model of respect and appreciation. When we see the opportunity for a breakthrough in the breakdown, we can generate energy and open up space for exploration.
LESSON 4: Where you stand (figuratively speaking) makes all the difference. Our stance towards the situation and the people is pivotal in how we move through a communication breakdown. In a competitive communication model, there are winners and losers, who are either "right" or "wrong" and we are more interested in surviving than in truly understanding one another. Our stance may be to fight, avoid discomfort, or give in (surrender). In this model, you can't win unless someone else loses. In a collaborative communication model the goal is to come together and strengthen mutual understanding, based on commitment to the relationship. This model only works if we take a stance of generosity with ourselves and towards others. We can choose to assume positive intent and understand the experiences and needs of everyone, without judgment. New agreements can be reached that work for everyone.
LESSON 5: Breakthroughs start with the willingness to try on new communication practices. It doesn't work to sit back and wonder why everyone else isn't communicating. The more we are willing to open up and communicate authentically, the more we make it okay for others to do so. The most transformative moments I have seen in organizations are when individuals takes that risk, speak authentically from their own experience, without shaming or blaming and are truly heard by others. In these moments, trust becomes possible where trust was broken. People step up and take responsibility for the impact their actions have had. People are able to hear each other's needs and requests without defending or judging. People discover deep compassion and connection to one another and value, rather than survive, their working relationships.
August Workshops - This article has touched briefly on a few lessons from my practice. If you are interested in learning more, please consider participating in the August 11 workshop on "Authentic Communication for Empowered Teams" , offered by CompassPoint Nonprofit Services or attending the August 31 workshop on "Courageous Conversations Around Culture, Power and Difference" offered in partnership with Featherston & Associates as part of CompassPoint's Nonprofit Day.
Thanks for reading!
Laurin
Mayeno Consulting
I didn't start out my consultant business with a focus on communication. This focus grew as a result of a steady stream of communication breakdowns over the years: conflicts with people being targeted and blamed, people complaining that they weren't being heard, concerns about lack of transparency, people avoiding difficult conversations, tensions resulting from different communication styles...and so on. I saw that these breakdowns could have a devastating impact on the people, their morale and their work. I also saw that when communication works, it can transform an individual, a team and an entire organization!
Over the past several years, communication has become a cornerstone of my work. In this month's "Lessons from the Field", I share my top 5 lessons on communication breakdowns and breakthroughs. I am deeply grateful to, and inspired by, the many people I have worked with and learned from. Special thanks go to my colleagues Loretta Hobbs of O-Neal Hobbs Associates and Françoise Spaulding-Keller for their valuable input. If you find this information useful and want to share it with others for purposes of learning (not for profit), please feel free to do so. Please acknowledge Mayeno Consulting and include my web address (www.mayenoconsulting.com) if you pass it on to others.
LESSON 1: Communication breakdowns happen. A breakdown is when something doesn't work. If we start by accepting and expecting that breakdowns will happen, we will be less likely to react with dismay. Breakdowns may happen for a number of reasons. For example, when an organization expands, communication processes that once worked may not work anymore. If people have very different ways of looking at the world or different styles of communication, misunderstandings are bound to occur. The rapid changes in technology add different methods of communicating to the mix. In short, don't be surprised if something isn't working in communication.
LESSON 2: Problem-solving doesn't transform communication. When I started out with a problem-solving approach, I noticed that people (myself included) were defensive and seemed to suffer through the process. Focusing attention on fixing a problem did not inspire people. People often felt bad about themselves and each other. Shifting away from problem-solving doesn't mean ignoring challenges. We can acknowledge the challenges AND frame them as opportunities. For example, conflicts about tone of voice, office noise levels or how people respond to requests may impede productivity and teambuilding and decrease job satisfaction. They may also provide rich opportunities to learn about different communication styles, enhance working relationships and develop strategies that meet everyone's needs.
LESSON 3: Where there's a breakdown, a breakthrough is possible. When communication gets challenging, people are often driven by anger and fear; their outlook about the future tends towards gloom and doom. An alternative way of looking at breakdowns is to see them as "pre-breakthrough moments" or moments of creative tension. For an organization with confusion about expectations, there may be an opportunity to break through the confusion to clarify roles and model transparency. For the organization an employee makes an offensive remark, the organization may be ready to break through a pattern of tolerating intolerance and become a model of respect and appreciation. When we see the opportunity for a breakthrough in the breakdown, we can generate energy and open up space for exploration.
LESSON 4: Where you stand (figuratively speaking) makes all the difference. Our stance towards the situation and the people is pivotal in how we move through a communication breakdown. In a competitive communication model, there are winners and losers, who are either "right" or "wrong" and we are more interested in surviving than in truly understanding one another. Our stance may be to fight, avoid discomfort, or give in (surrender). In this model, you can't win unless someone else loses. In a collaborative communication model the goal is to come together and strengthen mutual understanding, based on commitment to the relationship. This model only works if we take a stance of generosity with ourselves and towards others. We can choose to assume positive intent and understand the experiences and needs of everyone, without judgment. New agreements can be reached that work for everyone.
LESSON 5: Breakthroughs start with the willingness to try on new communication practices. It doesn't work to sit back and wonder why everyone else isn't communicating. The more we are willing to open up and communicate authentically, the more we make it okay for others to do so. The most transformative moments I have seen in organizations are when individuals takes that risk, speak authentically from their own experience, without shaming or blaming and are truly heard by others. In these moments, trust becomes possible where trust was broken. People step up and take responsibility for the impact their actions have had. People are able to hear each other's needs and requests without defending or judging. People discover deep compassion and connection to one another and value, rather than survive, their working relationships.
August Workshops - This article has touched briefly on a few lessons from my practice. If you are interested in learning more, please consider participating in the August 11 workshop on "Authentic Communication for Empowered Teams" , offered by CompassPoint Nonprofit Services or attending the August 31 workshop on "Courageous Conversations Around Culture, Power and Difference" offered in partnership with Featherston & Associates as part of CompassPoint's Nonprofit Day.
Thanks for reading!
Laurin
Mayeno Consulting
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